I AM FREAKING OUT. WHAT SHOULD I DO??? OH NO! I AM SUPER SCARED NOW. SUPER RELUCTANT. BUT STILL GOING. CRAP. HOPE NOTHING FUNNY HAPPENS. PRAY FOR ME.
BEECHed at : 9:11 PM
everything is falling into their rightful places nw. im getting used to the jc life. its good cos ive finally settled down.
great. i haf 3 music pieces thrown at me ytd. they dun make any sense to me! ytd once more sounds very very diff in guitar 2. more of the harmony part comes in. guess that's y im learning at such a slow pace. i want my place in the esplanade n victoria concert hall!! for that.. im gonna work doubly hard. shall not disappoint anyone.
i dunno if its true but i hope it isnt. although many ppl said its super obvious.. i still hope its not. even if it is true.. i'll say no. sorry. there r more important things in life nw
math test next wed. target: full marks
BEECHed at : 7:42 PM
feeling super tired nw.. was burning mid-night oil last nite to get my tutorials done. oh crap. n there r more today. changed out of the cedar uni already. currently in this green tpjc uni. im so not used to not having a tie around my neck. went thru so much to get my unis la! have been visiting the uni booth everyday since last mon. the auntie could even rmb me. wow. i just realised that many aunties noe me. as in canteen stall aunties, subway aunties n even the uni booth auntie. but almost all call me 'ah girl' or 'xiao mei'. dey dun call me by my name. hmm..
right. so im currently coaching BMT in guitar. dunno which senior chose me. out of all j1s!! me?! well.. i dun mind making more friends though. BMT is quite a big grp of ppl. they have been very cooperative. that's y im really glad. coaching together with abi. funny eh? i rmb her coaching me around 2mths ago. nw im the teacher too! oh im in guitar 2!! together wif all my yoyos. protesting to goldi did help. heehee
listening to craig david's 'dont love u no more'. an appropriate song for breaking up. sad but nice.
BEECHed at : 6:38 PM
jm is posted to SA! its very sudden but.. yes! its true! she's very fortunate. feel really happy for her. cos she got into her dream sch. if it were to happen to me.. i think i wld reject their offer. cos i have already settled down in tpjc. dun wanna go into a totally new environment n adapt to it all over again. i dislike drastic changes.
i miss u jm.. i was so happy when both of us got posted to tpjc. we could meet each other everyday.. just like before. i guess good things never last. just when i tot we're gonna be in the same sch n cca.. u left. u told me u were confused that time cos im in tpjc. pls dun be. pls dun ever regret transferring to SA. we have only 2 short years in jc. so we might as well enjoy it to the fullest! to be honest.. i was quite upset initially. but SA is what u want. n u got it. good for u! im really glad!
BEECHed at : 9:35 PM
NO MORE SKIPPING OF CLASSES
BEECHed at : 5:38 PM
"oh my gosh.." that was what i said when i saw myself in a mirror ytd. never in my life was i so red! as in redder than red! worse than a lobster! the most terrible sunburn since NDP. i was lyk the center of attraction. i've had ppl staring at me as though im some alien. esp when we went to the harbourfront shopping mall. gosh.. it was so embarrassing. bro called me sambal chilli. i think im worse than that. the sunburn is slightly better nw as compared to ytd's. but it still hurts! esp my nose! my tan line is so damn obvoius. tanned areas r super red. i can feel heat radiating under my skin..
apparently.. i went to suntan at sentosa's palawan beach ytd. went with sm, ty, jer n emme. yup. ytd's lunch was quite sad. only sm n me. cos jer woke up late. ty was having lunch somewhere else. emme was at her fren's hse. met up wif ty after lunch n headed for sentosa. ty had such a difficult time inflating the ball! but it only took sm a few seconds to inflate it! haha.. ty was so sexy! she wore bare-back clothes to beach. i wore my tank top. not as daring as her. din really do anything much. just laid on the sand.. played with water.. soak in salty sea water.. chat.. n just chill out. for this case.. burn out.
the toliets were packed when we decided to bathe. so jer n i went to bathe at the public shower. the water that gushed out of the hose was super strong.. which hit me on my badly burnt skin. yea.. OUCH is the word. dunno who the smart alec was to suggest walking back to harbourfront mrt. it took us quite long to get back dere. we sang our beloved cedar sch song while on our way back.it felt really gd! man.. i miss the cedar spirit. its really depressing to think abt buying n wearing a new set of uni everyday. a uni that helps us blend into the tpjc walls. how interesting.
i dont dare to go out in my badly burnt skin! think im just gonna stay hme this wkend. hopefully i'll get back to my original colour by mon! keep fingers crossed..
BEECHed at : 1:23 PM
had guitar exchange today at CJC. that place is cool man. they have their very own performing arts centre n an indoor gym! wow. tpjc is quite sad. outdoor gym.. with lousy facilities. basically.. the exchange is about sharing what the schs do during practices n how to further improve on them so that quality time is spent. was split into grps for many discussions. its quite boring during discussions cos my grp was quiet. only jm, yoyo, asraf n me were participating. the CJC guy is boring. oopx. the improvising n composing part was the best out of all discussions. our tune was simple but nice. jm, yoyo, asraf n joshua did the melody. i did the strumming n the others did bass.
im feeling very empty nw. mayb its cos i went crazy n laughed too much with the other j1s. mayb its cos i miss cupid. met her just nw btw.. mayb im over-sensitive bout trival stuff. i feel that im being forgotten. i feel that im out-of-the-place. i feel that im being too nice.. that ppl might get the wrong msg though my actions. i think im taking too many things for granted n that i expect a lot in return. i feel that im unimprotant to some ppl.. like being neglected or ignored. this is making me feel inferior. i have mixed up 2 words that r of 2 different meanings. i keep asking myself the same question but i just cnnt find an answer to it. follow the head? or follow the heart?
BEECHed at : 8:00 PM
just got home frm the nus guitar concert. went there to help out at the ticketing counter. that was the worse part of the whole. im gonna rant. just bare with me..
WHAT THE HECK!? I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DISORGANISED TICKETING COUNTER IN MY LIFE! THEY JUST GAVE US ONE WHOLE STACK OF LABELLED(with names n whether if the tix were paid for) ENVELOPES N EXPECT US TO SORT OUT ON OUR OWN. THEIR SO-CALLED NAME LIST WAS WORSE. THE NAMES WERE NOT IN ANY ORDER. SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SEARCH FOR THE NAMES IN A SHORT WHILE?! IN ADDITION, THE HAND WRITTEN NAMES WERE ILLEGIBLE. WHATS WORSE WAS THERE WASNT ANY QUEUE. TOLD THE PEOPLE TO LINE UP ALREADY. SOME JUST DONT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH! EVERTHING WAS DONE IN A HAPHAZARD MANNER. SOME SOLD TIX WENT UNRECORDED. DONT THINK THE MONEY COLLECTED TALLIED. DONT CARE ANYWAY. WAS IN TOTAL DISTRESS N THE GENUS PEOPLE STILL CALL US BLUR! SO SMART THEN DO IT YOURSELF! ARGH! WHATEVER!
the good part was that the president of GENUS was nice enough to give us the complementary tickets. however.. we only managed to catch 3 performances. the performances were good but easily forgotten. they dun really connect with me.
i think the mass dance rocks. kept doing shy guy ytd! cos its easy n fun! the couple dance was quite nice too. danced with my honey! woohoo! huimin n i were doing the shy guy dance after ticketing in front of many ppl!! see what boredom can do..
BEECHed at : 12:42 AM
today was more packed than any other days during the 2nd orientation. at least i had many introductory lectures to kill time. went for my very first econs lecture. i find econs rather interesting so far! dun understand y sis hates it so much. haha. different ppl have different perspectives. chi was.. argh!! they went to re-teach everything that is taught in the first 3 months. wanted to just grab my bag n leave the lecture. but i promised myself to stop skipping lessons.. so din leave until lesson ended. im such an obedient gal. heehee. (no violent objections pls!)
was at the guitar booth ytd after sch to promote my cca. i started asking the j1s (who r already in guitar) if they want to join. that disgusting n irritating rachel!! came to me every 3mins to ask me if she could join. all the questions she asked were the same n in the exact same order. she's so professional in acting blur. went up to the classrooms to do sectionals after awhile. jm attended guitar wif me!! yay. its so fun to have the jiemeis around. we can crap n crap n crap.
im so happy today!! im over the moon! over the sun! over the stars! woohoo! feeling super high..
BEECHed at : 6:20 PM
today is the 2nd day of orientation. y do they even call it an orientation? the programmes of this 'orientation' are introductory lectures, talks n more talks. there is one word that describes this 'orientation'.. PATHETIC. y cant they just add in a bit of life? currently in og7. oh man.. this og is dead. well.. i think it has got to do with the programmes of the 'orientation'. its just so boring!!
jm came over to my place just nw. practised french song n ytd once more. woohoo!! jm is finally attending guitar with me tmr! yay. stupid jm call me a blech at her blog. u r a pro LOR.. im speaking the truth. if not i'll just go to heaven. heehee
i miss S29..
i miss my mortal!! (judith.. went to poly)
i miss my cupid!! (camilla.. went to CJC)
i miss the sleeping guy! (jason.. went to poly)
i miss jane!! (went MJ)
i miss XX! (where did she go huh?)
i miss jialin! (SA)
i miss felicia! (SA)
i miss U..
however.. i dun miss honeystar. good riddance. waha!
BEECHed at : 6:30 PM
alright.. posting results were finally released today. got into tpjc AGAIN. it's not that i din expect it.. but i really do wanna go SA. it was only until after i knew bout my posting when i realised how much i wanna go SA. tpjc is so not a good place for studying.. or so i think it isnt. cos that sch is so damn slack. im afraid that if i stay.. i wun study at all. i'll just play n play. so there i was.. crying when i thought bout this. i think im such a crybaby.. broke down in front of some of my classmates. how embarassing.
now im just trying to think positive. if i really end up in tpjc.. then so be it. well.. tp is near! made many good friends dere as well! most impotantly.. guitar. i think the reason for me having a dilemma from choosing between SA n tp is cos of tp's guitar ensemble. honestly.. i go to sch bcos of guitar. i had to drag myself to sch on other days. hopefully this mindset will change after the holidays.
feeling rather down nw. i cant find any reason to be happy about. yea i rmb that personality profile speaker telling me to smile more. come on. to smile more at the rate im smiling nw.. i'll just look like a retard.
Joy comes in the Mourning
BEECHed at : 11:36 PM