Little Toy Ships v2

Thursday, April 27, 2006

~Cedar VS Tpjc~

uniform: cedar
canteen food: cedar
environment: cedar
teachers: cedar
people: cedar
sch spirit: cedar
discipline: cedar
acadamic: cedar
cca: tpjc
classrooms: cedar
principal: cedar
bookshop: cedar
library: tpjc
civilised ppl: cedar
enthusiasm: cedar

i miss u cedar.. tp is nth compared to u. why did i even choose to stay? i feel damn stupid. im regretting my decision. was i that desperate to get into sa that i actually lost my head? why did i choose a sch that has no spirit at all? mayb cos its near? no.. its cos of guitar. n nw.. its more of a workload than a hobby. im losing my passion. im drifting away. what exactly is happening? many questions are left unanswered. there r things that i dun understand. i dun feel part of tpjc. no. not at all. mayb i'll nv be part of it. its not the time factor. mayb its just me. so why did i stay? i dont know. i really dont.

BEECHed at : 7:24 PM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

~tired and empty~

its been a long time since i last checked in. ive been rather busy these days.. with what? school work. duh! sigh.. im so busy that i haven had the time to watch tv. i watch the channel u show only. i like 'gu zhuang' shows! (but not those very slow moving ones for sure)

just came home from guitar. feeling very weak and low. mayb its cos durling, honey and turtle din go guitar today. so i was like super quiet. xiao wen said that im very calm today. haha. cant really go crazy with the j2s cos 'lao da' was there. she was apperently quite pissed when we were chatting away and practising other pieces. dun mess with her man.

*general election 2006*

yeah.. the tpjc guitar ensemble version. received this form that wants me to decide if i want to be part of the comm. if yes, den i'll have to state what position i wanna take. should i? i dun wanna be too stressed but yet i wanna contribute. a j2 told me to run for the president position. and my immediate reaction was "siao ah?!". i dunno if a voting is going to take place. if it is.. im so gonna die cos of sabotage. that xu yoyo!(btw im yeo yoyo. stupid nick. thanks to wt)

i just saw the panaroma rehearsal time-table. faint ah!! its super hectic! once every wk excluding the practices in between. my holidays are gonna be damn packed.

ta(1) hai(2) mei(2) si(3) xin(1) (in chinese)

today's entry is very guitar. sorry bout that! not a lot of happenings lately..

bijun.. out!

BEECHed at : 7:48 PM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

turn crucification into resurrection

the power to cancel the past, the power to change one's personality.

went to expo to attend the city harvest church's easter service. it was very good. they had their praise and worship first, followed by the drama and lastly the preach.

praise and worship was rather boring for ah mei and me. cos we dun feel connected to the whole atmosphere. it seemed quite weird in the beginning but it got better in the later part. ive actually experienced that in jm's church b4. just that i dun feel that i should sing along. yea.

the drama was the best man.. the actors were exaggerating a lil. but it actually created a positive impact on the show. the drama was mainly about christ; how he got the people's support and his tragic end. i really admire Him for the things He did. oh and i finally know what judas did. at first i only knew he's a disciple of christ.

pastor rev. kong is a very dynamic speaker. i enjoyed his preach about being a better person. everything he said makes perfect sense. just that i cant seem to recall much bout what he said. haha. wanna share his little story:

A man fell off a cliff. he was falling and falling until he caught onto a branch. now he was 1000 ft from the top and 2000 ft from the foot of the cliff. he was getting desperate.

"Someone please save me! God save me!" He cried.

True enough, someone who sounded like God replied,
"Let go of the branch and i'll catch you."

"What did you say?"

"Let go of the branch and i'll catch you."

"Come again?"

"Let go of the branch and i'll catch you."

try and guess what the man said! answer to be revealed soon..

all in all.. it was a very good experience for me.

BEECHed at : 12:06 AM

Friday, April 14, 2006

~stressed~

have not finished my PI yet. shitty project work. i got rejected twice before getting a 'okok' from my ST. i have the main ideas already. just that i have not put down in the flow chart form. gonna do it soon. later. after my entry.

~slack~

went to changi airport for class outing ytd!! had popeye. btw.. i din know what popeye was. haha. sua ku. we occupied a total of 12 tables! imagine the noise pollution we created. ytd's situation was applicable to econs. diminishing law of returns. popeye should hire more workers to fully utilize the machinery. hence productivity and efficientcy increases which leads to increasing returns from a variable factor. i bet ms peh was overjoyed to see us apply wad we learnt. wahahaha..

~stressed again~

cant believe im given the chance to be a sectional leader. all thanks to amantha. a sabotage. i dun wanna be a SL. a SL has to learn at lightning fast pace, to have good timing and tempo and to be musically inclined. besides those, he or she has to be responsible. being a member is stressful enough.. let alone being a SL. choo wants the SL wannabes to learn one piece everyday. and we have to be good at them by june. in addition, we have our ensemble pieces to practice AND homework to cope with. come on.. im no prodigy. how do u expect me to do so much when ive only picked up guitar this year? it is so not possible.

to my j2 yoyos:
hey cheer up u girls.. it is not the end of the road. u still have your A's! pw contributes only 10% to the overall. i noe its a heavy weightage. but its nth compared to the 90% of your written paper. what have u worked so hard for? whatever your answer is, think abt it.. if u choose to give up now.. then all of your hardwork will go down the drain, to the river, to the sea, whatever. my point is, u did not work hard for nothing! it wld be nth if u give up now. so stop dwelling on it and move on. believe in yourself. block out all discouragements. consider this as a beginning to the next chapter in your life. the future is still unwritten. how the story ends lies in the hands of the writer. so take control. write your story.

to WR:
thanks for being so understanding. lets just be friends. thanks again.

BEECHed at : 6:39 PM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

oh man.. time really flies. i realised that this week ended faster than expected. not as draggy as any other week. perhaps i was too preoccupied by the workload. ya.. academic stuff and guitar matters.

academic:
gp is bad. well.. not that i haven realised how bad my eng is. i just cant seem to do that 'answer in your own words' comprehension! wad crap.. argh. it has to be done anyway.. so i'll just try to make the best out of the worst! woohoo!

im struggling with my chem! stupid lecturer. cant teach then dont! nw my atomic structure is like *puke*. understand concepts but cant apply. so i decided to attend the audi lecture. the lecturer is far better than 'miss-booming-voice'.

maths is so far so gd. some prob with numbers n sequences though.

guitar:
i finally managed to catch up! altough my timing is haphazard.. but i still got the gists of them! yes! i hope they reserved a place for me at the esplanade n VCH.. i also hope to get a place in the performance at the carnival.

practices are very demanding for me. i have to travel frm BMT to guitar 2 every now and then. to teach and get taught. why did they even choose me?

*my motivation is you*

BEECHed at : 12:56 PM

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

*in a nightmare*

it has been miserable for me these days. im very distracted bcos of this. it has only been less than 3 wks!! i think its really too fast. by asking weird questions n going all out aint gonna work. yes.. ive gotten the hint. but do u noe that im currently afraid of u? it has shown me the other side of u. the persistent side. im trying really hard to avoid u. but the more i wanna avoid, the more i bump into u. do u noe that the whole BMT knows abt it? i think e whole of guitar noes. ya n do u noe why? its cos ure being so damn obvious. nw i feel very awkward to even be in the same class as u. if u haven realised.. i was the one who told abi to 'take care' of u. i dun even want to talk to u. i dun even want to see u. but u keep appearing. u said 'hi' in the very shy manner. that made me wanna run away. yea n my classmates know. not cos i told them. its cos ure being so obvious. let me make my stand clear.. it is not possible. no matter wad. i wun get into a relationship. not this year. not next year. so.. dun waste your time on me. its not worth the while. im really sorry. but i believe im not the one ure looking for. please stop already.

BEECHed at : 8:06 PM

Saturday, April 01, 2006

please stop asking me weird questions. please stop doing funny things. because you are freaking me out. im really scared of u. give me up already. it is not possible. there are more important things now as compared to that.

BEECHed at : 7:36 PM